Dads, Look Up!

One interesting aspect of parenting is that no two generations of parents are rearing their children in identical societal and cultural contexts. The context within which we parent is ever evolving and changing. Each subsequent generation of parents faces some challenges that are unique to the time in which they live. This is precisely why it is increasingly important that we, as fathers and parents, are aware of the unique challenges that face both our children and us. The need for godly parenting has never been more urgent. In the below excerpt from chapter two of Dr. Lawson’s The Legacy, he issues a third challenge to fathers.

The world in which our children live is greatly different from the one in which we grew up. If we are to lead our families effectively, we must have an astute awareness of the times in which we live. We must know the forces they face and the dangers that await them. Not surprisingly, Paul warns us that “the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16). A wise father will discern the times and be prepared to steer his children through the uncharted, dangerous waters of today’s society.

Dads, we must “look up” and see our world for what it is, not for what it once was, or what we would like it to be. We must take off our rose-colored glasses and see that our society is collapsing. We must also understand that the fall of every great nation was caused by the destruction of the traditional family unit. Nations crumble from within, not from without.

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According to the Family Research Council, the average father spends only eight minutes a day in direct conversation with his children. In families where the mother works, it drops to four minutes. No wonder many boys suffer from what Robert Bly calls “father hunger”—a longing for a man’s love and an insecure sense of masculine identity.

Today, boys spend most of their growing-up years around women—with their mothers at home and female teachers at school and Sunday school. They grow up with only the haziest notion of what their fathers do, and worse, who they are.

Is it really important that men are the ones who lead their kids? Yes. When men don’t accept the responsibility of investing their time in their kids, look what happens:

• 70 percent of juveniles in long-term correctional facilities grew up without a father in the house.
• More than 46 percent of the 8.8 million female-headed households with children live in poverty, compared to only 9 percent of the 26.1 million married-couple families with children. Stated differently, fatherless children are five times more likely to live in poverty, compared to children living with both parents.

But a missing father means much more than a missing paycheck. A father’s love and discipline are crucial to character formation. And for children growing up without that love, the statistics are grim.

• Fatherless children display more antisocial behavior, do worse in school, and are twice as likely to drop out than children from intact families.
• Fatherless children are more likely to use drugs and become sexually active at an early age.
• More than half the teenagers who have attempted suicide live in single-parent homes.

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There is a reason God created the family the way He did. Children need fathers as well as mothers in order to thrive. And even more importantly, they need them in order to learn to trust God as their heavenly Father.

Dads, discern the times! The times are evil. In these days of exceptional evil, are you doing something exceptional?

All quotations take from The Legacy, by Steven Lawson.